"Do you cyber people have an antivirus?"
I really don't know whether to laugh or to cry. 'Cyber-people', yes, that's who (rather what) we have been sidelined into. Naturally, we see ourselves in a rather different light; more along the lines of the geeks that decided to join law school only because it suited our antisocial desires. Imagine trying to be geeky in a place where everyone else is, it just wouldn't work. So we created our own esoteric group of jobless people that really ought to have been found trying to correct syntax instead of legal authorities. But now we only exist in some remote corner of cyber-space as virtual people that only materialize when the LAN malfunctions or when someone's laptop decides to take a break, and then de-materialize into their natural state as electrical signals whose sole purpose in life is to offer a comfortable pillow to cushion data losses. Acquaintances now only knock in situations of dire need....
"LAN not working on my floor"
"Is the Cisco plugged in?"
"Oh yeah..."
But it has its benefits... My room, for example. Comes at the cost of being responsible for the switch connecting the floor and being at the beck and call of the technophobic masses; but on an objective cost-benefit analysis, considering we only do the work because we enjoy it, not very expensive. Unless of course, it's that time of the semester when everyone has a deadline and all computers decide to crash in unison. You also get an excuse to sample the food in the distressed subject's room, and seeing as we're all living in a hostel, any good food is spontaneously consumed with pleasure.
"My comp is slowing down"
"That's because you don't love it enough. Always remember the second commandment, love thy laptop like you love thyself..."
"It's a non living entity। I know you connect on higher levels but face it. Technophilia will get you nowhere"
(shuts ears tight, refusing to be the passive recipient of such sacrilegious ideas)
"So what's the first commandment?"
"Love your friendly neighborhood Cyber-committee member like you-"
(gets beaten up)
Naturally, the abuse of technology is when it disjoins humanity from gadgets.
"Your laptop is old and disabled."
"Don't say that!"
"I apologise, I meant, your laptop is old and differently-abled."
7 comments:
well written. worth doing all that u say for food!after all we do everything for survival. siri will get mad if she sees this!
Within the `Cyber People' are different individuals. It seems I am the LAN Guy
Why will she get mad???
@ kaushik: yes, I've heard LAN-people, computer-people, internet people. One girl called me the LAN help in the hostel. Another asked me if I was a student in NUJS. (the inhumanity and the ingratitude)
Loved it! Esp the way u have put the such a serious fact in such a humourous way!
Ah! The joys of making the digital world move as you will it! The feeling of control!! You can forget the twisted and confusing problems of life in the simple yet coded ways of ones and zeros!!
But such joys have sacrifices to be made... esp. the question "Do you belong to the real world?" (Are you a student in NUJS?)
And Paddu Aunty, why do you think I would have gone mad??
:)
@laya: I didn't know you had a fetish for power :P
but yes, I often wonder if I exist. I could be a figment of my imagination for all I know. But then, I think, therefore I am.
See, that's the burden every admin has to bear. You only get attention if something is NOT working. When you're doing a brilliant job and everything IS working, nobody will notice it's your merit, but will take it for granted. Thing is, the better we do our job, the more people will get used to running systems and therefore won't accept any malfunctioning. If you want your work to be appreciated you need to make your users suffer a bit every now and then (Just like the Bastard Operator from Hell - http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard_Indexes.html). Then you'll come, saying: "oh dear! Looks kind of bad. I don't think we can fix it within the next couple of days. You will have to ask for an extension for your project submission." Yes! Make them sweat with fear, let them axiously see you work and then when they least expect it, when they almost give up hope and pack their lapies, for the cybercafe, solve the problem. What could be more rewarding, than the tears of joy in your user's eyes? Of course they will hug you and swear eternal gratefulness (which lasts for the next 20 minutes, as we know).
This would make both us admins and those users happy the most. If it wasn't for ethics and even more, our struggle for perfection. It's the neverending fight with our gadgets, that keeps us alive, and we're not going to give way even a single step. Oh no! Not us! Just like in the admin-user relationship we hate and love our switches, rooters, servers, PCs at the same time. And how grateful are we and how much do we love them when they finally work properly again...
paul: wow, that was worthy of a blog post in itself ;)
We did decide to go on strike for a few days, but it coincided with moot deadlines. so much for no-mercy policies :P
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